10 Dec Nompulele`s Story
Introduction Nompulele`s Story (6-7 min)
I want to introduce a dear friend of mine who experience a very dramatic event in her life, she struggled with for years. There was a big mountain on her shoulders until she saw the gift in the wound and she is here today to help me raise awareness for Woman abuse and Rape
Her story was published in the newspapers some time ago
I respect her so much for writing this as it was not an easy thing to do. I understand one has to open up the pain in order for sunshine to come in through the cracks…
The day when I told my story to dad – when I told him of my drug abuse
Can we please stand up and welcome Nompulele
The aftermath of rape should never be taken for granted. 13 Years later I still cry about it, but life goes on.
I was a 16 year old virgin when I was raped twice by the same man in the same year. (LET’S CALL HIM SHITFACE). This man was not a stranger to me. I saw him around my neighbourhood all the time, yet we never spoke. Little did I know what plans he had for me.
Thursday 21 August 1997, was the day my life changed forever.
I thought for what was mine. My legs intertwined from my hips to my ankles. I pleaded and cried, `NO, please don`t`, but my screams fell on deaf ears. I continued to fight with my legs intertwined, lying flat on my back in my school uniform. He was on top of me holding my arms firmly down wide spread apart. With his knees, he tried to spread my legs apart, but he could not enter my tight grip. He tried several times but could not gain access. I thought he would give up and let go of me but instead, he started pinching my outer thighs in the effort to loosen my grip, he failed. This struggle continued for what seemed like forever. I continued to scream, beg, plead and cry PLEASE NO….
He became stronger and stronger and soon he only held me down with one hand instead of two. My screams got louder and louder, he eventually got off me. I was relieved, but only for a moment. He turned on the radio and before I knew `Luther Vandross – Always and Forever` was playing through the speakers LOUDLY (to this day I can`t listen to this song). I continued to plead, beg and cry and tried to escape but failed. He came closer and undressed (I had never seen a naked man before). He reached into the closet and pulled out a gun, proudly showing me it was loaded and ordered me to stop screaming. I did as he said.
The battle started again but this time not for long, my body became cold when I felt the mouth of the piston against my head……..and the rest is history.
I felt numb, cold and alone, dazed, withdrawn, lost, intense anger filled my being, and depression took over my youthful soul. I could not sleep, and tried to scrub the smell of me. I tried to commit suicide twice, but obviously failed. I became a different person and still am. Sad but true. For the longest time I suffered in silence and it destroyed me badly. I buried the emotions in my subconscious mind so much that it affected my whole outlook on life, without me being aware of it.
Slowly but surely I made changes to my environment and my outlook on life. I started seeing myself as a rape survivor and not a rape victim. I dealt with my fears head on. I allowed myself to mourn the death of my innocence and accepted the fact that however hard I try, I cannot turn back time. I know I will be cursed with unwanted memories, flashbacks or nightmares that will rekindle the sensation and feelings I felt during my assault, but I refuse to allow them to make me neither powerless nor helpless. I turned my self-pity, self-blame, shame and doldrums into seeds of positive thinking, Courage, Freedom, Joy and Spiritual Calm from within.
This journey has not been easy one for me, not by a long shot. But I am a firm believer that depression loses its power when fresh vision pierces the darkness.
SEX after rape…..all I can say this is my …………year of Sexual freedom, and I am Loving it ☺
Dear Rapist, I forgive you a long time ago. I pray that God does not bless you with a GIRL child (She too might get raped)
*** Dedicated to all girls and boys, men and woman, THIS IS MY TRUTH
Lastly I never end a talk without guidance and advice
We have a vast network of mental coaches and healers.
One is not supposed to walk this road alone
Even if you start with the right books, the willingness to be open to faith, God and Healing.
According to the Optimus Report 82% of us had experienced some form of victimisation
1 in 3 SA Children experience abuse
Over 40% of young people have experience some form of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect at some point in their lives. This includes also unwanted touching, flashing under 15 years and younger.
All forms of physical, emotional, ill treatment, sex abuse, neglect or negligent treatment or exploitation, resulting in actual or potential harm to the child’s health, survival, development or dignity
What we want to achieve here will never be achieved in our lifetime
But it always lets me think of the Starfish Story
`We crucify others on their sins and mistakes. We stone them to death metaphorically. May I humbly remind you `He who is without sin, he may cast the first stone`